April 2nd, 2008
Today, I drove and drove. . .
I havn't really driven in a long time . . .
I mean I drive everyday to get me to a certain destination,
but today I drove in a different way ...
Well you see , if you know anything about my younger days,
you'd know that I have a tendacy to enjoy running away.
I think it's an amazing feeling.
the adventure,
the adrenaline,
the rushhhhh .
See, running away is not always a bad thing.
It's beautiful if it can accomplish something. . .
Sometimes people run away in search of something new ,
sometimes leaving something behind,
sometimes an amazing combination of both.
Most of the time we find out that what we've left behind is way greater than we thought .
People run away everyday,
maybe just to breathe? ,
or to find peace and tranquility? ,
or passion and excitement?
...Today , I drove.
A "running away" kind of drove .
At first I wanted to get lost . . .
I love getting lost, I love change , or an challenge .
Getting lost helps me because when I am lost physically,
I relate that to an uncertainty where I am also lost emotionaly.
Same goes to being lost spiritually, lost in Jesus , there is nothing like it.
and only then...
I feel balanced.
At that point, I can reach a level of deeper thinking.
But with my numerous amount of running away experiences,
one thing was always the same,I want to get lost ,
but then, at the end, I always end up at a place that is so familiar.
I was trying to find that place...
I just NEEDED that ocean ,
I NEEDED a sunset ,
I NEEDED the birds that make the most beautiful music I had ever heard,
but it wasn't here...
I get it now . .
running away isn't the same anymore,
it's ALL about running back .
Sunday, July 13, 2008
ON LOOKING UP AT THE CONSTELLATIONS
Jan 24, 2008
You'll wait a long, long time for anything much
To happen in heaven beyond the floats of cloud
And the Northern Lights that run like tingling nerves.
The sun and moon get crossed, but they never touch,
Nor strike out fire from each other nor crash out loud.
The planets seem to interfere in their curves
But nothing ever happens, no harm is done.
We may as well go patiently on with our life,
And look elsewhere than to stars and moon and sun
For the shocks and changes we need to keep us sane.
It is true the longest drouth will end in rain,
The longest peace in China will end in strife.
Still it wouldn't reward the watcher to stay awake
In hopes of seeing the calm of heaven break
On his particular time and personal sight.
That calm seems certainly safe to last to-night.
Robert Frost
------------------------------------------------
just live , don't wait for something to live for ...
GO LIVE that life.
make memories .
cry a little.
laugh alot.
smile to people you don't know.
as long as you LIVE .
and don't sit there waiting.
You'll wait a long, long time for anything much
To happen in heaven beyond the floats of cloud
And the Northern Lights that run like tingling nerves.
The sun and moon get crossed, but they never touch,
Nor strike out fire from each other nor crash out loud.
The planets seem to interfere in their curves
But nothing ever happens, no harm is done.
We may as well go patiently on with our life,
And look elsewhere than to stars and moon and sun
For the shocks and changes we need to keep us sane.
It is true the longest drouth will end in rain,
The longest peace in China will end in strife.
Still it wouldn't reward the watcher to stay awake
In hopes of seeing the calm of heaven break
On his particular time and personal sight.
That calm seems certainly safe to last to-night.
Robert Frost
------------------------------------------------
just live , don't wait for something to live for ...
GO LIVE that life.
make memories .
cry a little.
laugh alot.
smile to people you don't know.
as long as you LIVE .
and don't sit there waiting.
Bright times ahead.
December 21st, 2007
I've always had to be the strong one..
and I guess that's not changing anytime soon
I'm not scared , I'm terrified.
But if this makes me a better person
stronger, in everyway .
I'll take it. I'll fight.
And some day ,
You'll use me.
To brighten someone else's day .
I pray .
I've always had to be the strong one..
and I guess that's not changing anytime soon
I'm not scared , I'm terrified.
But if this makes me a better person
stronger, in everyway .
I'll take it. I'll fight.
And some day ,
You'll use me.
To brighten someone else's day .
I pray .
thoughts on love.
November 26th, 2007
Love.
how do you describe it?
probably the most amazing feeling in the world.
...
but then .. is it even a feeling. ?
can you actually fall in love . ?
Does everyone fall in love ?
Because we all know that we cain't really fall on perpose .
do you think some people try to step into love by preparing themselves fully and convincing themself to do so..
I've already tried. It dosn't take you to a place called love at all .
I think that true love is often a spontanious thing at first, but then it's turns into a great miracle.
So you talk to someone .
It can be any random person
Some one you just met , or someone you've known since your three.
But then for the first time you see them in a different perspective, a different light.
this person is a mystery to you . you're interested about finding out who this person truely is .
Is this love? ... everyone one knows that the answer to this is NO . Unless you believe in love at first sight... in that case i'll write a note proving that there's is no such thing.
But then things get deeper. you want to spend every living minute with this person . Mostly because of the way they make you laugh by saying practicly anything , the way they make you smile or toutch you . it;s like an addiction. and when you're around them you get a "buterfly" feeling in your stomach .
Is this love? ... ummm , not quite . All these things are caused by different hormonal or nervous system reaction in your body ... Just because your heart is beeting faster when your with them dosn't mean they are in the heart already .
Now it's been longer and you feel a conection. You can tell them anything. You think that other person is PERFECT . He seems to hold all the answers of the world and you know that even if you miss one second with him , He'll be telling you about it later. you feel safe . secure .
Is this love? ... Most people would consider this love... I think it's just the height of something beautiful . the top of the mountain . But love is not about one perticular spot . It's about way more...
So , this is were it get;s tricky... You found out that this person is not Perfect. what a surprise.. ? Most people give up right here. But then some people keep going. and actually learn to love each person's imperfections . I truly think that if the imperfections of the other wont bring you down .. keep going... and then ususally in this time you'll see the greatest acts of faith and love . and also the hardest times . you'll found out that that person may not be perfect , but perfect for you .
Is this love? ... I really don't know . You tell me? I felt like this part of a relationship is the place where I got a great connection with that other person .
and then there are many other stages . like getting married, having children , etc , etc. I'm sure i'll write about that someday . But i'm not experienced enough to do so now... So I'll let all of them out...
So I guess we all have different percpective on Love . and whether or not we have "fallen" in love. I like to think I have. But dosn't love take two ? Or can It be a one sided thing.? Jesus loved us . but it's our choice to love him . So I guess it can be one sided.
Is love a feeling? or just a state of mind that you're secure with that one person ... and that it's imposible to live without that person holding your hand through the times that are hard and the times that you cain't stop smilling. that you would sacrifice so much, just to know they are happy. That you have a connection to their smell , the way their eyes sparkle when they look at you , and you know you've acheaved something different then you've ever experienced before.
the most beautiful experience ever.
All I know it that I want to find this REAL love again . the love that brings tears to your eye, only by looking at him. but i'm not going to search for it. no distractions . I'm gonna wait for that time when it's right for me . I'll pray , even more. and hopefully he'll come to me. A strong Guy who knows exacly what He wants , that loves God , who will fight for me and never give up , and make me feel important , I want to learn and grow with him. and I know it will be / has been hard at time but it will be worth it.
yes , love is the most beautiful experience ever.
whether it's with God , Family , or that special someone.
I guess that's just my point of view ...
what's yours? have you ever experienced love?
don't be afraid to prove me wrong. I'll maybe learn from it ...
Love.
how do you describe it?
probably the most amazing feeling in the world.
...
but then .. is it even a feeling. ?
can you actually fall in love . ?
Does everyone fall in love ?
Because we all know that we cain't really fall on perpose .
do you think some people try to step into love by preparing themselves fully and convincing themself to do so..
I've already tried. It dosn't take you to a place called love at all .
I think that true love is often a spontanious thing at first, but then it's turns into a great miracle.
So you talk to someone .
It can be any random person
Some one you just met , or someone you've known since your three.
But then for the first time you see them in a different perspective, a different light.
this person is a mystery to you . you're interested about finding out who this person truely is .
Is this love? ... everyone one knows that the answer to this is NO . Unless you believe in love at first sight... in that case i'll write a note proving that there's is no such thing.
But then things get deeper. you want to spend every living minute with this person . Mostly because of the way they make you laugh by saying practicly anything , the way they make you smile or toutch you . it;s like an addiction. and when you're around them you get a "buterfly" feeling in your stomach .
Is this love? ... ummm , not quite . All these things are caused by different hormonal or nervous system reaction in your body ... Just because your heart is beeting faster when your with them dosn't mean they are in the heart already .
Now it's been longer and you feel a conection. You can tell them anything. You think that other person is PERFECT . He seems to hold all the answers of the world and you know that even if you miss one second with him , He'll be telling you about it later. you feel safe . secure .
Is this love? ... Most people would consider this love... I think it's just the height of something beautiful . the top of the mountain . But love is not about one perticular spot . It's about way more...
So , this is were it get;s tricky... You found out that this person is not Perfect. what a surprise.. ? Most people give up right here. But then some people keep going. and actually learn to love each person's imperfections . I truly think that if the imperfections of the other wont bring you down .. keep going... and then ususally in this time you'll see the greatest acts of faith and love . and also the hardest times . you'll found out that that person may not be perfect , but perfect for you .
Is this love? ... I really don't know . You tell me? I felt like this part of a relationship is the place where I got a great connection with that other person .
and then there are many other stages . like getting married, having children , etc , etc. I'm sure i'll write about that someday . But i'm not experienced enough to do so now... So I'll let all of them out...
So I guess we all have different percpective on Love . and whether or not we have "fallen" in love. I like to think I have. But dosn't love take two ? Or can It be a one sided thing.? Jesus loved us . but it's our choice to love him . So I guess it can be one sided.
Is love a feeling? or just a state of mind that you're secure with that one person ... and that it's imposible to live without that person holding your hand through the times that are hard and the times that you cain't stop smilling. that you would sacrifice so much, just to know they are happy. That you have a connection to their smell , the way their eyes sparkle when they look at you , and you know you've acheaved something different then you've ever experienced before.
the most beautiful experience ever.
All I know it that I want to find this REAL love again . the love that brings tears to your eye, only by looking at him. but i'm not going to search for it. no distractions . I'm gonna wait for that time when it's right for me . I'll pray , even more. and hopefully he'll come to me. A strong Guy who knows exacly what He wants , that loves God , who will fight for me and never give up , and make me feel important , I want to learn and grow with him. and I know it will be / has been hard at time but it will be worth it.
yes , love is the most beautiful experience ever.
whether it's with God , Family , or that special someone.
I guess that's just my point of view ...
what's yours? have you ever experienced love?
don't be afraid to prove me wrong. I'll maybe learn from it ...
reach for it. cause you're almost there...
November 8th, 2007
Okayy soo ...
I want to know, by raise of hand.( do so if yes) am I absolutely crazy . ?
I wonder if anyone one else ever does this...
Sometimes, well most of the time, I pretend that my life is a TV show. And I am the main character in it. This is often what I think about when I just wake up... I intentionally get a good song set on my alarm clock for the opening act.
I wonder if my life would be interesting enough to make it as a Hit. I think it would. If you could hear my thoughts that is... and the stupid things I do. the things I’ve gone through, oh and my very cute roommates. I think all that could be so big that they would beg me to make a movie. Well maybe...
Maybe i'm just weird. maybe i'll make that a definitely...
I just know that life is beautiful.
and I hope everyone realizes that before they waste it away .
I decided in one second to just drive home today . I do that sometimes. Planning things is so overrated. I stopped at Michel's house told him to be ready in an hour if he wanted to come. and I’m glad he did. Because we had an amazing talk about life and the definition of happiness. How you can’t let go of things you love... and how you have to stand strong in what you believe in .
I'll def be that person who does these things...
and when I got home, teary eyed cause I actually ,for once since I moved away, REALLY realized I sort of missed this place that I love so much. I realised that I have an awesome family that I sometimes take for granted. Along with a lot of people i've lost touch with...
Which really made me want to Christmas music actually... I don't know how that relates?
It feels good to be home. And even if this TV show isn't the best hit ever... it will never get cancelled. Not any time yet...
Plus it has a GREAT soundtrack <3 ...
Okayy soo ...
I want to know, by raise of hand.( do so if yes) am I absolutely crazy . ?
I wonder if anyone one else ever does this...
Sometimes, well most of the time, I pretend that my life is a TV show. And I am the main character in it. This is often what I think about when I just wake up... I intentionally get a good song set on my alarm clock for the opening act.
I wonder if my life would be interesting enough to make it as a Hit. I think it would. If you could hear my thoughts that is... and the stupid things I do. the things I’ve gone through, oh and my very cute roommates. I think all that could be so big that they would beg me to make a movie. Well maybe...
Maybe i'm just weird. maybe i'll make that a definitely...
I just know that life is beautiful.
and I hope everyone realizes that before they waste it away .
I decided in one second to just drive home today . I do that sometimes. Planning things is so overrated. I stopped at Michel's house told him to be ready in an hour if he wanted to come. and I’m glad he did. Because we had an amazing talk about life and the definition of happiness. How you can’t let go of things you love... and how you have to stand strong in what you believe in .
I'll def be that person who does these things...
and when I got home, teary eyed cause I actually ,for once since I moved away, REALLY realized I sort of missed this place that I love so much. I realised that I have an awesome family that I sometimes take for granted. Along with a lot of people i've lost touch with...
Which really made me want to Christmas music actually... I don't know how that relates?
It feels good to be home. And even if this TV show isn't the best hit ever... it will never get cancelled. Not any time yet...
Plus it has a GREAT soundtrack <3 ...
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